Giving Things Up in Recovery That stand in your way.
Email us on firstname.lastname@example.orgIt could be said that addiction recovery is all about giving things up. The most important thing that the individual gives up is alcohol or drugs. Then their grandiosity, false pride, ego and general way of trying to live their lives that we know in reality is actually always going to be unmanageable. Until they take that step there cannot be any further progress. 15 Things to give up in recovery is merely a starting point. In fact, this giving up of addiction is only the start, because the individual will be expected to give up much more if they hope to find real happiness in life. The reason why the individual turned to alcohol or drugs in the first place was because of things that were making their life uncomfortable. These things are likely to be still there when they enter recovery so they need to work hard at eradicating.
The 15 Things to give up in recovery that people should consider include:
The Need to Always Be Right One of the most important ways that humans learn is by making mistakes. Those who refuse to acknowledge their mistakes will struggle to learn. The reason why people can become obsessed with being right is that they have allowed beliefs and opinions to be too closely connected to self-esteem. Humans are fallible creatures and they are allowed to be wrong. Those individuals who do not have the humility to accept this will find it hard to grow in recovery. They wouldn’t look at 15 things to give up in recovery, as you see, nothing changes if nothing changes.
The Need to Control Things One of the most important elements of the 12 Step program is that it teaches people to let go – in fact this is what almost all spiritual paths teach. When people put their trust in the universe it will make their life easier and lead them to happiness. This is summed up in the Serenity prayer.
Blaming Other People The individual has to take responsibility for their own life. Constantly blaming other people will not lead to any type of progress. It is just an excuse to avoid taking action. Are you avoiding taking action? Do you work your recovery? Are you open to learning new things or are you avoiding growth because you are fearful about other things?
Listening to Negative Self Talk People have an internal dialogue that can have an influence on how they perceive the world and their place in it. Those individuals who have low self esteem may have an inner self talk that is constantly negative and critical about things. This inner voice is always telling the individual that they are no good or not worthy of happiness. It is vital to ignore this negativity and instead move towards more positive self-talk and affirmations. There are often two voices, or sets of dialogue in our heads. The voice who wins the conversation is the one who makes it past your lips most often. Listen to what you say, choose your words carefully. 15 Things to give up in recovery includes a change your inner dialogue.
Listening to Self Limiting Beliefs If people are willing to settle for the bare minimum in recovery the chances are that this is what they will end up with. People are limited by how they view their own potential. What are you putting into your recovery? Are you expecting others to do the work for you?
Complaining About Life There is the famous saying, if life gives you lemons you should make lemonade. Too much complaining is dangerous for people in recovery because it can easily lead to stinking thinking. Instead of focusing on what is wrong with the world the individual should put their attention on making the most of things. Is nothing good enough?
Being a Critic It is easy to criticize but it is a luxury that people in recovery cannot really afford. Each human is doing the best they can, and the best advice is for people to focus on doing the best they can. Do you constantly criticize others? Is nothing ever good enough?
Trying to Impress Other People The truth is that humans are attracted to humans for who they are and not who they are pretending to be. Those who pretend to be something they are not will usually sound insincere or be perceived as a fake. The only thing that the individual needs to do to impress other people is for them to be themselves. We try and be capable when maybe we should sit with learning how to be capable first. Slow down.
Fighting Change Change is an unstoppable force in the universe, and to fight against it will usually lead to suffering. Humans tend to feel threatened by change, but when they embrace it they will find that it makes life a whole lot more interesting. Do you resist change?
Labeling Out of Ignorance People tend to feel more comfortable when they can put a label on things. The problem is that this can lead to dismissing things out of hand or judging things unfairly. There can be a kneejerk temptation for the individual to label everything they do not understand as bad or threatening.
Being Afraid of Life Fear only exists in the mind. Each individual has the choice of giving up their fears. When they are able to do this it increases their freedom. Fear makes us avoidant. We don’t work, socialize or talk up. Also, we DON’T GET HONEST! 15 Things to give up in recovery is based on getting honest!
Always Having an Excuse Excuses are worthless because they give the individual a justification to not do the right thing. I can’t call because this, or I can’t get started because of that. In order to progress in recovery the individual will need to do what is required – no excuses.
Obsessing About the Past Bill Keane famously said: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present. What’s done is done. You cannot go backwards (back to childhood, or school, or even your first rehab). You must move forwards. It is life on life’s terms.
Attachment to Certain Conditions The Buddha advised his followers that they should free themselves from attachment – there is no need to be a Buddhist in order to benefit from this advice. Recovery is all about developing emotional sobriety and serenity. This means that the individual develops an inner tranquility that is not dependent on external conditions, your living arrangements, your peers, your current circumstances. By giving up their attachment on things being a certain way the individual is able to enjoy peace no matter what is happening in their life. I will only get well if they do this, or my recovery can only develop if they do that for me. Look carefully at the 15 Things to give up in recovery list and get honest about willingness. Do you have any or not?
Living Life to Please Other People William Shakespeare advised: To thine own self be true. This encourages people to live their life in accord with their own values and beliefs. The problem with trying to please other people all the time is that in the end nobody is happy. The individual is trying to be something they’re not and this will cause them to become resentful and unhappy.
“If you’re having trouble believing in a Power Greater than yourself —
Just try believing in a Power Other than yourself!”
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